Why do people misunderstand each other? Why is it that people often find it tough to decipher what the other person is trying to say or express? Communication breakdown happens very often and it can happen to anyone in any situation. Effective communication is the solution that reduces and prevents communication breakdown. It is about building the communication bridge between any two people and being able to bring across the ideas shared between this communication bridge.
To be able to communicate effectively, it involves not only the language, but also the tone of the language. There are also other factors to consider, such as individual ‘filters’ that exist possibly due to one’s biasness against certain matters and the non-verbal language that might be one’s way of expressing emotions.
In this world of highly advanced technology, we communicate with people through channels such as emailing, instant messaging and sending messages through mobile phone due to convenience and our busy lifestyles. By using these channels, we would not be able to observe the non-verbal language of the speaker and we might also interpret the tone of the language wrongly. For example, by saying “I’m unhappy with what you have done today.” The listener might interpret it as the speaker being angry or upset but the speaker might only be disappointed. These constitute a range of different emotions but it was only represented by one word ‘unhappy’. In this kind of situation, it is easy for misunderstandings to occur and people will have to rack their brains to think what is the true meaning that the speaker wants to bring across, which is why people should also practice effective communication in the channels of technology.
10 comments:
Dear Angeline,
As I have commented to many of your Group 9, you explain the basics well, focusing on misunderstandings. Your language use is precise and your ideas well organized. What I feel is missing is the personal touch, the connection between what you have written about effective communication and your own world, your own needs, your own approach to communicating.
Tell me more about what I don't know! Relate the principles that you discuss with your own practice, or with what you would like to achieve.
Angeline asked, "why do people misunderstand each other?".
Besides the fact that each one of us possesses individual "filters", I guess another reason is because the two parties simply do not know each other well enough. Ever come across times when you brush off someone who is rude with "aiya she's always like that?" It's because of this understanding of that party(that he/she always act that way) that we downplay his/her not very nice behaviour. If some stranger says the same thing, I doubt we would think the same way. We would probably be thinking "eh, why is he/she like this?", and then take offense for what was said.
Dear Xin Yi,
Sometimes mutual understanding can be a double-edged sword too! I have made similar comments on Peirong's blog so I will just be short there. Sometimes our understanding of other people will lead to the forming of certain assumptions and stereotypes and no doubt these have high chances of leading to misunderstanding (:
For example, if someone has always been a mean person and one day he decides to turn over a new leaf, I am quite sure his good gestures will be misunderstood by people who have already "condemned" him from the beginning.
Dear Xinyi and Lyon,
I too feel the same way. The misconception that we might already have of someone acts like a mask. It masks off the good of a person and prevents us from really understanding that person. Therefore, for an effective communication, i guess having an open mind is an important factor as well. :)
Dear Brad,
I will try to improve by adding in more personal touch. I guess I need to get the momentum of blogging my feelings. :)
Just to add to your point on 'filters', it is also possible to use the inherent biasness of others to effectively communicate. Should we understand the 'filters' that lie within the listener, our message can be easily tailored to better resonate with him. For instance, an academically driven individual can be persuaded to post more comments than he is naturally inclined to if told that his grades are tagged to his degree of participation:)
I would like to add on to the point that not only the language but also the tone contributes to effective communication. I have often encounter this kind of communication problem whereby the tone i used makes people think that I am upset or angry in which case I am not.
to quote a trivial example, my mother wanted me to wake my younger brother up in the morning. At that moment, i was thinking,"oh my god! he is so big already, still need me to wake him up?" so immediately, i said:"so big already, don't you know what an alarm is?" i actually wanted to sound sarcastic and harmless but i ended up sounding really fierce. My mother was instantly upset and ignored me for the rest of the night.
in this case, i guess the controlling of your tone when you speak can either bring your point across or end up getting misunderstood.
I realise it's tough to perfect an effective communication as I can see from the comments that there are so many other factors to consider even before someone starts to speak, such as considering the inherent biasness in the listener that yu ming mentioned. Hopefully everyone can succeed in their skills of effective communication! It takes some effort. ;)
One more comment: I really like your blog design and think that your blog title is one of the most imaginative that I have ever read. Great! Thanks, Angeline!
I think the last paragraph of your post is very true. In the modern fast-paced society, not only do we rely solely on electronic means of communication, but we also rarely have the time for a "face to face" chat. Which is why many of our messages lack a certain "personal" touch. I guess this is why effective communication skills play such an important role. In the absence of such "face to face" communication, these skills must fill in the gaps and ensure that the receiver is able understand the message clearly and completely.
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